The Holidays: A Time of Joy, Family and Questionable Dinner Conversations

Written by Wilton Pride

by Nikki Sherman

For some folks, the holiday season is a time of celebration and gathering together. For others, it can bring a whole lot of anxiety and maybe even a little dread.

Have a creepy Uncle Eddy who will be proudly sporting his finest red hat at the dinner table? Us too. Maybe your grandparents don't know you've come out yet. Or maybe the call is coming from inside the house, and you're not getting the support you deserve from a parent or guardian.

Wherever you find yourself this holiday season, we hear you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, and we'd like to share a few reminders to help you hold on to your joy (and maybe a little of your sanity) along the way.

1. It's okay to say no.

You don't have to attend every gathering, accept every invitation, or put yourself in an uncomfortable situation just because it's a family tradition. Your peace matters too. You don't owe anyone a lengthy explanation for choosing to sit something out. Sometimes, “NO.” is a complete sentence.

2. Family isn't always who you're related to.

Your family can be your friends, your coworkers, your neighbors, or the people you've found along the way who love and accept you without question. Chosen family is family. Make time for the people who celebrate you, respect your identity and remind you that you belong.

3. Have an exit plan.

If you decide to attend a family gathering and things become uncomfortable, disrespectful, or just plain exhausting, it's okay to step away or leave. If you can, arrange a ride, have someone you can call or text, or give yourself permission to take a breather. You don't have to stay somewhere that makes you feel unwelcome just to keep the peace.

4. You don't owe anyone your story.

Not everyone needs to know every detail of your life, and the holidays are not an obligation to come out, explain your identity or defend who you are. You get to decide when, how, and with whom you share that part of yourself. Your safety and comfort come first.

5. Find joy in the little things.

Maybe that means spending time with your favorite people, starting a new tradition, watching your favorite holiday show, or simply curling up on the couch under a heated blanket with your dog, cat, or even your pet rock. Whatever brings you a little happiness, make room for it. You deserve that.

And one last thing: You can love your family and still find certain parts of being around them difficult. You can have a good holiday and a hard moment within the same day. Give yourself a little grace.

These reminders come from lived experience and not a medical professional. They're simply a few things we've learned along the way and hope might help someone else! If you're looking for more concrete guidance, support, or someone to talk to, we've included some wonderful resources below.

However you spend the holidays this year, we hope you find moments of peace, people who make you feel loved and plenty of reasons to smile 

With so much love and support - Nikki

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